SK,
Is there a Database where we can see all of your signature
quotes in one place? I would pay big bucks... 
~Ed from PA~
XVP: This weekend in LV...What's up?
From: <eddy1015@rcn.com>
SK,
Is there a Database where we can see all of your signature
quotes in one place? I would pay big bucks...
~Ed from PA~
···
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ed,
I could tell you but I'd have to, um...well....never mind! Enjoy a few from my collection.
SK
"I couldn't repair my brakes, so I made my horn louder."
"The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have
to dress up for it."
"I married my wife for her looks...
but not the ones she's been giving me lately! "
"I live in my own little world, but it's ok, they know me here"
"I think my problem is low self-esteem.
It is very common among losers." (could substitute "your" for "my")
"I've learned that you cannot make
someone love you. All you can do is
stalk them and hope they panic and give in."
" I've learned that no matter
how much I care, some people are just assholes."
"It's lonely at the top, but you eat better."
"There are more important things in life than money
- but women won't go out with you if you're broke."
"I've learned that you can get by on charm for
about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better
have a big dick or huge tits."
"The Bible was written by the same people who
said the Earth was flat."
"All wives are alike, but they have different faces
so you can tell them apart."
"Ignorance is Bliss!! Why aren't you happy?"
"Enough is enough - unless of course you're a
nymphomaniac!"
"We had a great neighbourhood watch going when I
was a kid...until she closed her curtains."
"Democracy is mob rule, but with income taxes."
"Love means never having to say, "Does that twenty include the spanking?"
"To truly love another, you must first love yourself. And it wouldn't kill you to wash your hands in between either."
A little bit of love goes a long way in our lives. It can provide us with higher highs and lower lows. But, if it comes with a persistent burning sensation, see your physician.
"When it becomes a crime to love, you should probably consider dating
outside the family. "
"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural
wholesome things that money can buy."
"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me
neither."
"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as
meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damned good."
"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of
getting married."
"For every person with a spark of genius, there
are a hundred with ignition trouble."
"Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was taken."
"Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up"
"Rehab Is for Quitters."
"My Dog Can Lick Anyone."
"Men don't get cellulite. God might just be a man."
"I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid."
"Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial."
"I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me."
"You sound reasonable ... Time to up my medication."
"I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter."
"Two of the most difficult subjects parents can broach with their
children are death and sexuality. So when I candidly told my son about
masturbation, I explained that it was okay and natural. I also reminded
him that if he did it, all his dead relatives in heaven would be
watching."
And my all time favorite....
"On some days, my head is filled with such wild and original thoughts
that I can barely utter a word. On other days, the liquor store is
closed."