XVP: Personal TVs/DVD Players in Restaurants - an Etiquette Question

[JH1]

Working in the service industry myself–as a mgr, I would not make a scene with the child/diners unless someone complained. Why
start something IF no one else seems to view it as a problem???

BUT if it were me sitting next to the child/DVD/diners I would get up and find the manager. I would then explain the
situation to him and ask him to move the child/DVD/diners. I'm guessing that he'd say something like–"I'll talk to them"
and then he'd ask them to turn down the DVD player. I guess this isn't really any different than having a peaceful meal and
then having a large party seated next to you and they've all "had a few" already and there's a bunch of them–like 6 or 8 and
they're just making a lot more noise than that DVD player! You can hear ever major conversation, every toast, every discussion
about what to order-etc, etc, etc! What do you do??? Call on the manager and tell him/her that this group is too loud as you
feel like you're sitting at THEIR table with them??? What's the difference???

And consider that manager's position? If he "disciplines" the child/DVD/diners he risks loosing their business. If he doesn't – he
risks loosing yours! What would YOU do if you were this manager???

PS--I'm not defending the actions of the parents to allow a DVD player to be played this loud. I give them some credit for
at least trying to plan ahead and entertain the child, but other than on a plane--I've never seen a DVD player used in a
restaurant! If my food hadn't arrived yet--I would even go so far as to tell the manager that I don't want my food any more and
that I was leaving. I guess than he can decide for himself what he wants to do--ie: who he wants to piss off! This is a good
example of why people are leaving the service industries in mass! You can't win!

Jean H--

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go.... Dr. Seuss

Do you think it's appropriate to bring a DVD player or a TV to entertain a young child at a nice restaurant (e.g., a steak house, which is the nicest restaurant at most casino resorts) during a holiday dinner? If you think it's appropriate, would you still think it was appropriate if it is played loud enough for other diners to hear?
If you were at the next table and having your holiday dinner disrupted, would you speak to the parents directly or would you call over a manager? What would you say, and what outcome would you expect? Also, do you feel that restaurant management should proactively take action before customers complain (i.e. when the noise from the player began) -- or are they better off pretending that there's no problem until complaints begin?

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Subject: [vpFREE] XVP: Personal TVs/DVD Players in Restaurants - an Etiquette Question
   
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[Harry_Porter]

K/J Haka wrote:

Working in the service industry myself–as a mgr, I would not make a
scene with the child/diners unless someone complained. Why
start something IF no one else seems to view it as a problem???

Because there are some situations that present themselves where it
should be inferred that they disrupt the comfort of the diners. My
position on this is stated with all due respect to you, so take it
with an appropriately sized grain of salt.

By failing to act in this case, you put a diner in the awkward
position of asking that something be done -- awkward because it's very
likely that the source of the complaint will be apparent to the parents.

Were I the complaintant, between the subsequent icy stares from the
parents and the potential that the kid will now act up (robbed of the
diversion that the parent deemed advisable in the first place), I
expect I may regret not having gone to the buffet.

I fully understand not wanting to create or exacerbate a situation
unnecessarily. But, as a diner, I expect a manger to proactively deal
with any situation that detracts from an appropriate dining atmosphere
(and take all the heat). In this case, and others, it's my guess that
brief observation would surface obvious discomfort of other diners,
even if they choose not to voice it.

I don't envy this aspect of the job, but my expectation remains all
the same.

- Harry

[Curtis_Rich]

Just because no customers complain to the manager does not
mean that no one seems to view it as a problem. Personally,
I have no problem complaining to management. But, unfortunately,
there are a lot of people out there who will not approach management
(or the offending patrons) and will sit there and suffer. THAT is why
a manager should do something BEFORE a complaint is filed.

And, there is no need to "make a scene" with the children. Certainly,
a good manager should be capable of handling this kind of situation
without causing any kind of "scene."

K/J Haka wrote:
> Working in the service industry myself–as a mgr, I would not make a
> scene with the child/diners unless someone complained. Why
> start something IF no one else seems to view it as a problem???

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[Lavona_Rann1]

I agree, that children that are not disciplined enough to act well
should not be in nice restaurants of any kind. Unfortunately, with
the current crop of parents, teaching discipline appears to be as out
of style as the ability to find lots of full pay video poker machines
at most casinos.

My husband and I would probably endure for as long as we could, maybe
would say something to the parents, but would NOT tell the
management. It should be obvious to management what is happening and
if they do not choose to do something about it, then we cnoose to not
return to their establishment. When one goes to a fine place to eat,
they should be able to expect that management will do all in their
power to make the environment pleasant so that the entire experience
is pleasant. We would probably make a comment on a comment card or
after we had paid our bill so that they would know why we were not
returning.

I know that this may make it difficult for the manager on duty, but
that is, in fact, part of their job. My husband was in the restaurant
business for years and we understand it is not an easy business.

[markhaslem]

We might as well all learn to get used to this sort of thing,
standards have been falling everywhere for a long time now. In the
old days most parents wouldn't dream of taking a small child or baby
into a fancy restaraunt they would have arranged for a babysitter.
Nowadays if someone does go to the trouble of arranging for a
babysitter there is a good likelyhood that when they themselves are
out trying to relax and enjoy the evening that they will have a
screaming baby right next to them or obnoxious toddler. Now I ask
you after that happens to them how much less likely are they
themselves to go to the bother of arranging for a babysitter next
time. Nowadays it is commonplace for people to bring toddlers and
babies into the movie theatres, which is one of the reasons I
dislike these new computerized reservation systems for theaters
where you reserve an individual seat, I want to have the option of
sitting elsewhere if I end up sitting next to a baby. The truth is
the theaters should not allow anyone to bring a baby or toddler into
the theater and nice restaraunts shouldn't either. Both business
don't want to do so they just think it would be that much less
revenue for themselves. Though if I could find restaraunts and
theaters that are actually interested in providing a relaxing
atmosphere for their customers I as a consumer would definately
prefer them.

Just because no customers complain to the manager does not
mean that no one seems to view it as a problem. Personally,
I have no problem complaining to management. But, unfortunately,
there are a lot of people out there who will not approach

management

(or the offending patrons) and will sit there and suffer. THAT is

why

a manager should do something BEFORE a complaint is filed.

And, there is no need to "make a scene" with the children.

Certainly,

a good manager should be capable of handling this kind of situation
without causing any kind of "scene."

> K/J Haka wrote:
> > Working in the service industry myself--as a mgr, I would not

make a

> > scene with the child/diners unless someone complained. Why
> > start something IF no one else seems to view it as a

problem???

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--- In vpFREE@yahoogroups.com, "Curtis Rich" <LGTVegas@...> wrote:

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[Lainie_Wolf]

I agree with most of what you said. The only clear exceptions would be things targeted to kids (e.g., "G" rated movies, live shows like "Tele-Tubbies on Ice," etc.).

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markhaslem <markhaslem@yahoo.com> wrote:
    The truth is the theaters should not allow anyone to bring a baby or toddler into
the theater...

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