Don't know where this came from, a friend in Montana sent it to me.
JT
Driving in Las Vegas
Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Las Vegas has it's own
set of traffic rules. All you can do is get in your car and hope you
survive to learn them.
All directions start with "Go down 95 'cause you don't want to get on
15."
Las Vegas Blvd., Charleston, and Torrey Pines have no beginning and no
end.
It's rare to go around a block and wind up on the same street that you
started on. The Chamber of Commerce calls this a "scenic drive"
The 8:00 am rush hour is from 4:30am to 11:30am. The 5:00pm rush hour is
from 11:30am to 10:15pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning
and ends sometime late Sunday night.
If you actually stop at a yellow light, then you cannot be from LasVegas.
You may only apply your brakes when the end of a yellow light and the
beginning of the red light create a "pumpkin-orange" hue.
Just remember that Camino El Norte is MLK, Boulder Highway is Fremont
Street, Spring Mountain is Twain, and Twain is Sands. Don't try to
figure it out.
If moisture is determined to be rain, all traffic must immediately cease.
Ditto for daylight savings time, or a flat tire three lanes over.
Do not attempt to access any road after an apocalyptic event like blowing
dust or a three-day weekend.
No, as a matter of fact, construction on I-15 and US 95 is a permanent
condition.
Stay away from the corner of Nellis and Las Vegas Blvd. if you do not
like the thought of being in a remake of the movie "Top Gun."
And, yes, we all know that's a man wearing a boa and a tiara on Fremont
Street. Just wave and go around him. His name is Leslie and he makes
more money than you do!
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