Sunday started out out like any other Sunday-- Up at 8:30, juice and
vitamins, yogurt, Raisin Bran cereal, coffee and a croissant. Then it
was three hours working on my "Poker Dictionary Joke Book" on my
computer. I added, among other things:
Hand: 1. The cards you are dealt.
2. If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands
with soap?
3. If evolution is fact, why don't mothers have three
hands by now?
4. Q: What happens when hens eat gunpowder? A: They
lay "hand-green-eggs."
5. Definition of Will-Power: A player who wins the first-
hand and leaves.
6. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English.
He was rather large.
7. You might be a Redneck if you can't take a nap without
at least one hand tucked inside your pants.
8. Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's hand grenades I throw.
9. Trust in God, but guard your hand.
10. Book Title: "Hand It All Over" by I. R. Ess
11. Book Title: "Handel's Messiah" by Ollie Luyah
12. Handicap: A ready-to-use hat.
Math Teacher: "What would you have if you had six apples in one hand
and four in the other?"
Little Johnny: "Really big hands."
What's relativity?
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour.
Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.
That's relativity.
Last week I had a big fight with my wife. We went back and forth for
a while.
But, eventually, she came crawling back to me on her hands and knees.
She looked me in the eyes and said, "Come out from under that bed you
coward!"
Then it was off to Greektown Casino to play a little video poker
and meet the vpFreeDetroit people.
I got to GT at 2:30, put a hundred in a quarter Pick'Em machine
and off I went. An hour later I hit quad. 15 minutes later I hit
another quad. Another hour later and I hit back to back quads.
Nick,and Dan, a couple of vpFreeDetroit posters, came over and
said, "Hi!" I then hit another four of a kind and left to meet the
rest of the group at the dollar progressive bar. That's five quads so
far playing Pick'Em.
While waiting at the bar, I put a hundred in and within 10 minutes
hit a $175 quad. The group decided to meet at "Locos", a Mexican
restaurant, for dinner. I said I would meet them there. I then put a
hundred in a vp machine and proceeded to hit a $250 quad on DD Bonus.
That's seven quads so far. Seven quads so far.
The Mexican meal and the conversation was great. This time,
someone else used their food comps for the meal. I'll throw in some
comps the next time. We ate, joked, BS'ed and generally had a good
time. This is a friendly group of good people and I like them all.
After the meal I went back to the casino and hit another four of a
kind playing "Hot Aces" and won another $150 on four slot machines.
This was a good day for old VP Pappy (my alter ego) and me.
On the way home I punched in a "Joe Satriani" CD, cranked up the
volume, stopped at Starbucks, and rocked all the way home. Life is
good...sometimes.
Terrence "VP Pappy" Murphy
"He who is lucky, needs no skill."
--VP Pappy