vpFREE2 Forums

Ultimate Definitions

#1

I posted this nearly a year ago, but thought or hoped it might bring a
little smile to everyone who didn't see it then.... Merry Christmas

These are the final and undisputable definitions:

Short Term: The number of months between Yankee's
                          winning the World Series.

Long Term: The number of months between Boston
                          winning the World Series.

Bankroll: What gets "eaten" up after Breakfast Roll
                          and before Dinner Roll.

Winning System: What the Indian casinos have perfected.

Standard Deviation: The psychiatric condition created when
                          flawless play doesn't produce winning
                          results.

E.R.: The "Emergency Room" where players are taken
                          when they learn perfect play doesn't
                          guarantee you win.

E.V.: The number of "Extra Veins" that will pop
                          out on your neck when you don't get the
                          $1.56 a hand the tables say you should get.

Royal Flush: What happens to your Bankroll [see above]
                          when in the Short Term [see above] you go
                          broke waiting for the Long Term [see above]
                          to bail you out.

Comps: When you lose $1000 in a couple days, what
                          the casino buffet is used for, to make you
                          feel like you're getting something for nothing.

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#2

These are definite 'keepers'. VERY CLEVER! ... and quite amusing. Great job.

I'm not very good at making jokes most of the time (my wife and kids always think they're pretty 'corny', so I take it that I leave something to be desired in that department). Well anyway, I posted something of my own quite some time ago that seemed to get a pretty good laugh from a few folks: a poster had commented about some casino somewhere having 'lap dances', and another poster, as I recall, asked what that was. I remarked that I thought it was when some nice looking girl rubbed her 'Not So Ugly Ducks' in your face until your 'Joker' goes wild. .... ummmm ... maybe you had to be there. :wink:

Cheers, and have a Merry Christmas.

Bill Velek

adr wrote:

···

I posted this nearly a year ago, but thought or hoped it might bring a
little smile to everyone who didn't see it then.... Merry Christmas

These are the final and undisputable definitions:

Short Term: The number of months between Yankee's
                          winning the World Series.

Long Term: The number of months between Boston
                          winning the World Series.

Bankroll: What gets "eaten" up after Breakfast Roll
                          and before Dinner Roll.

Winning System: What the Indian casinos have perfected.

Standard Deviation: The psychiatric condition created when
                          flawless play doesn't produce winning
                          results.

E.R.: The "Emergency Room" where players are taken
                          when they learn perfect play doesn't
                          guarantee you win.

E.V.: The number of "Extra Veins" that will pop
                          out on your neck when you don't get the
                          $1.56 a hand the tables say you should get.

Royal Flush: What happens to your Bankroll [see above]
                          when in the Short Term [see above] you go
                          broke waiting for the Long Term [see above]
                          to bail you out.

Comps: When you lose $1000 in a couple days, what
                          the casino buffet is used for, to make you
                          feel like you're getting something for nothing.