(The Story Disney Won't Tell)
Cast: Ms. Westie as Snow White
Westie as Prince Charming, Doc, Happy, Grumpy, Hungry, Sneezy,
Sleepy and Dopey
Max-the-Schipperke as himself
The year is 2005 and much has transpired since we last visited the
happy couple. Snow White, Prince Charming and, the recently adopted,
Max-the-Schipperke were left homeless following the Queen Mother's
remarriage and subsequent decision to convert the Castle to condos.
The property is now being marketed as Trump Castle. Snow White
suffers from recurring nightmares from aftereffects of the drugs
administered when she ate the apple. These nightmares often involve
a guy waving a baton while saying "an a one, an a two, an a three".
The couple moved in with the 7 Dwarfs and Snow White is back to
scrubbing floors, doing dishes and making beds for the little guys.
The Dwarfs returned to their slovenly ways following retirement from
their federal government jobs. Bashful, after taking a Dale Carnegie
course, moved to Washington, changed his name to Brownie and
currently serves as a paid consultant to FEMA. His cousin Hungry has
filled his place in the household and, like many retirees, the Dwarfs
spend an inordinate amount of time on the internet including Las
Vegas and Atlantic City discussion boards.
Our story unfolds in late October when Prince Charming and Snow White
decide to treat the dwarfs to a 3- night stay, including 2-nights
comped, at Borgata. On the day prior to departure it was decided to
reschedule the first night because remnants of Hurricane Wilma were
expected to bring heavy winds and rain to the entire East Coast.
Snow White called the Borgata to reschedule and was told Friday night
would cost $350, a reservation at the Holiday Inn Express in Absecon
was quickly made.
Early Wednesday morning everyone began storing luggage in the
carriage. Snow White was last to arrive due to her "Mirror, Mirror
on the Wall" routine. Doc pulled away shortly before 9 AM and Max-
the-Schipperke was soon dropped off at the exclusive Hotel de
Cromwell. The trip to Atlantic City was largely uneventful with only
a few traffic delays on either the Merritt or Garden State Parkways.
The 250-mile trek took 4.5 hours in spite of stops for supplies
(milk, OJ, and vino) and lunch (overdone pizza at Sbarro). Hotel
check-in went smoothly and a king, nonsmoking room on the 43rd floor
was assigned as requested.
The dwarfs immediately disbursed in order to update, as necessary,
the VPFree Casino DataBase index. In spite of some problems reaching
the uprights, the dwarfs determined no changes had been made since
their last visit. Upon their return Prince Charming and Snow White
headed down to the 9/6 JOB machines for a short, but unprofitable
session while the Dwarfs engaged in a pillow fight. Hungry started
complaining around 6PM. The dwarfs wanted to visit their cousins, the
leprechauns, at the Irish Pub, but the Prince outvoted them in favor
of the Atlantic City Bar & Grill. This restaurant/pub, located on
Atlantic Avenue at South Carolina, serves seafood with some Italian
dishes. Most of the patrons this evening ordered one of the steamed
crab (Dungeness, king or snow) dinners or the $15 Maine lobster
special. Snow White ordered the crab/lobster bisque (outstanding)
and the crab cake (2) entrée that came with fries. The Prince
ordered a salad awash in balsamic vinaigrette and the zuppa di pesce
(crab, scallops, shrimp, mussels, and clams) over pasta. Both
entrees were very good although the scallops had been either
previously frozen or were severely overcooked. Cost was $26.14 after
tax and gratuity, but net of a $25 restaurant.com gift certificate.
The next morning Dopey arose early only to be skewered by the Witch
of VP before the sun rose over Atlantic City. On returning to the
room, Grumpy chastised him for losing so much money on the very first
morning. Once the gang was up and showered, Happy served a
breakfast of fresh grapefruit, cereal with bananas and OJ. On a
chilly, but otherwise beautiful morning they all drove to the hawk
watch at the Cape May State Park. The winds were favorable and many
kestrels, sharp shinned hawks, ospreys, red tailed hawks, turkey and
black vultures, as well as other migrants were seen. Hungry started
belly aching around noon so off everyone trooped to the Broadway
Market for Italian hoagies ($4.95) before Sleepy demanded they return
to the room for some R&R.
The original plan was to use expiring comp dollars for the additional
night's lodging, but plan B was adopted which entailed dinner at the
Old Homestead in the Borgata. Prince Charming was at his most
charming, following a few glasses of cabernet, as he escorted Snow
White to the dining room for their 6:30PM reservation. Orders of
Caesar's salad, a 16-ounce filet mignon and spinach were shared and
everything was delicious as expected. Dopey decided to charge the
bill to the room hoping he would be able to pay for the meal
including gratuity with comps. Sneezy who seems to be at his worst
immediately following a large meal was almost embarrassing as he came
close to going through an entire box of tissues. The evening was
concluded with another short session of VP with Grumpy returning to
the bedroom first.
The next morning's predawn video poker session was held by Happy at
Trump Plaza. In spite of numerous quads, Happy made only a few
dollars before returning to the room. A breakfast in ensuite was
again consumed before Doc went downstairs to complete the checkout
process. Sure enough, the gratuity from the prior evening's meal had
to be charged to a credit card. The plan was to visit the Edwin
Forsythe National Wildlife Refuge to observe the large flocks of snow
geese, but the dark skies and wind conditions were ominous. Instead
they departed for Trump Plaza where the dwarfs took up the entire row
(8 machines) of 5-cent 9/6 JOB machines. Grumpy lost his money
quickly, but Snow White made a few dollars. Hungry, with a $5 comp
in hand, led the group to the New Yorker where a very good ½ pound
cheeseburger and fries were consumed.
Everyone reluctantly agreed to accompany Snow White on a shopping
spree at The Walk. Grumpy toured the Ralph Lauren, Nautica and Izod
outlets while Snow White chose to visit her close friend Liz
Claiborne. Grumpy returned to the room with 3 pairs of Nautica socks
while Snow White sports a new sweater. At the request of Sleepy, on
the verge of becoming Grumpy, Doc drove everyone to the Holiday Inn
Express where they checked-in.
Following a short nap and a few glasses of wine, it was off to the
Borgata buffet in order to burn off the remainder of the expiring
comp dollars. Happy turned to Grumpy when the cashier advised that
no senior discount is offered and the comp account was $10 short of
the amount required. The balance was charged to Visa and Doc decided
to check with the slot club following dinner. The group pretty much
taste tested everything including dwarf size portions of shrimp
cocktail, clams, mussels, salmon baked in banana leaves, pizza, lo
mein, short ribs, salad, sweet potatoes, and cappuccino gellato. The
buffet was pretty good, but overpriced.
After speaking to a slot supervisor, Queen Street (actual name), an
adjustment of $10 was made to the comp account. It appears someone at
the Old Homestead entered an unauthorized charge (gratuity?) to the
Prince's comp account. The dwarfs decided one more session of VP at
Trump Plaza was warranted, but it wasn't long before Grumpy
disappeared following a run of poor luck. It turns out Grumpy had
walked along the Boardwalk to the Sands in order to sign up for a
slot card as well as to check out Medici's restaurant.
On Saturday morning Dopey harnessed the horses to the carriage and
drove the 5 miles back to Trump Plaza for one last VP session. Once
again Grumpy returned to the room before the others awoke. As
expected, the dwarfs made pigs of themselves at the free continental
breakfast prior to their early morning departure for home. With Doc
again at the reins, the trip home was largely uneventful with the
exception of a few minor fights that broke out among the dwarfs.
Their first stop in Connecticut was to pick up Max-the-Schipperke who
treated everyone to kisses.