vpFREE2 Forums

Jean Scott's Frugal Vegas BLOG - 15 FEB 2008 (XVP)

#1

A joke stolen, er, borrowed, from an episode of M.A.S.H.

Hawkeye and BJ were gifting a new nurse with a "survival kit." As Hawk gave
each item, BJ would comment. When Hawk gave her a bottle of shampoo, BJ says,
"Because we couldn't find any real poo."

You should mention your source when "borrowing" jokes.

Brian

···

=========================================

In a message dated 2/16/2008 10:58:13 AM Pacific Standard Time,
bdancer@compdance.com writes:

For example, she recently complained about shampoo. She doesn't need to use
that.
With all her success, I'm sure she can afford real poo.

**************Ideas to please picky eaters. Watch video on AOL Living.
(http://living.aol.com/video/how-to-please-your-picky-eater/rachel-campos-duffy/
2050827?NCID=aolcmp00300000002598)

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

#2

Brian wrote: You should mention your source when "borrowing" jokes.

Why? Hawkeye didn't. I've heard the joke attributed to Sid Caesar in the
early 1950s. Since M*A*S*H supposedly was taking place roughly
contemporaneously with the Sid Caesar TV show, it's actually possible
that Hawkeye used a joke that wasn't officially coined at the time.

I still think the joke is funny.

Bob Dancer

For a 3-day free trial of Video Poker for Winners, the best video poker
computer trainer ever invented, go to //www.videopokerforwinners.com

#3

"Boycott shampoo. Demand the real poo."

I just put in a year and a half researching humor and jokes for my
upcoming book THE JOKE-TIONARY OF POKER and I've run across this
joke/pun numerous times. Its been loosely attributed, so far, to:

1. Archie Campbell of "Hee-Haw"
2. Steven Wright
3. Jim Loy
4. Rowan & Martin's "joke wall"
5. Dave Barry
6. Gilbert Gottfried
7. The Takeshi Kitano Comedy Show in Japan
8. Jack Benny
9. A Mash episode
10. And who knows where else?

With rare exception, you don't copy write jokes.

Terrence "VP Pappy" Murphy

   "The trouble with a lot of poker jokes is that they sometimes
catch a card and beat you." --VP Pappy

···

=============================================

--- In vpFREE@yahoogroups.com, bjaygold@... wrote:

A joke stolen, er, borrowed, from an episode of M.A.S.H.

Hawkeye and BJ were gifting a new nurse with a "survival kit." As

Hawk gave

each item, BJ would comment. When Hawk gave her a bottle of

shampoo, BJ says,

"Because we couldn't find any real poo."

You should mention your source when "borrowing" jokes.

Brian

=========================================

In a message dated 2/16/2008 10:58:13 AM Pacific Standard Time,
bdancer@... writes:

For example, she recently complained about shampoo. She doesn't

need to use

that.
With all her success, I'm sure she can afford real poo.

**************Ideas to please picky eaters. Watch video on AOL

Living.

(http://living.aol.com/video/how-to-please-your-picky-eater/rachel-

campos-duffy/

2050827?NCID=aolcmp00300000002598)

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

#4

Did you hear about the poker player that owned two farms? He lost
the first farm trying to make a straight. He lost the second farm
when he made a straight.

···

--- In vpFREE@yahoogroups.com, "Terrence Murphy" <tismurph@...> wrote:

"Boycott shampoo. Demand the real poo."

I just put in a year and a half researching humor and jokes for my
upcoming book THE JOKE-TIONARY OF POKER and I've run across this
joke/pun numerous times. Its been loosely attributed, so far, to:

1. Archie Campbell of "Hee-Haw"
2. Steven Wright
3. Jim Loy
4. Rowan & Martin's "joke wall"
5. Dave Barry
6. Gilbert Gottfried
7. The Takeshi Kitano Comedy Show in Japan
8. Jack Benny
9. A Mash episode
10. And who knows where else?

With rare exception, you don't copy write jokes.

Terrence "VP Pappy" Murphy

   "The trouble with a lot of poker jokes is that they sometimes
catch a card and beat you." --VP Pappy

       =============================================

#5

His best game is a short game. But he can never find one. As soon as
he sits down the table fills up.
GABE KAPLAN

#6

I'm stealing that , er, I mean borrowing that joke Mickey. I'll
attribute it to you.

Terrence "VP Pappy" Murphy

"There will always be memorable hands in poker, no matter how hard
you try to forget them." --VP Pappy

···

===============================================

--- In vpFREE@yahoogroups.com, "mickeycrimm" <mickeycrimm@...> wrote:

--- In vpFREE@yahoogroups.com, "Terrence Murphy" <tismurph@> wrote:
>
> "Boycott shampoo. Demand the real poo."
>
> I just put in a year and a half researching humor and jokes for

my

> upcoming book THE JOKE-TIONARY OF POKER and I've run across this
> joke/pun numerous times. Its been loosely attributed, so far, to:
>
>
> 1. Archie Campbell of "Hee-Haw"
> 2. Steven Wright
> 3. Jim Loy
> 4. Rowan & Martin's "joke wall"
> 5. Dave Barry
> 6. Gilbert Gottfried
> 7. The Takeshi Kitano Comedy Show in Japan
> 8. Jack Benny
> 9. A Mash episode
> 10. And who knows where else?
>
> With rare exception, you don't copy write jokes.
>
> Terrence "VP Pappy" Murphy
>
> "The trouble with a lot of poker jokes is that they sometimes
> catch a card and beat you." --VP Pappy
>
> =============================================
>
Did you hear about the poker player that owned two farms? He lost
the first farm trying to make a straight. He lost the second farm
when he made a straight.

#7

By the way, Mr. Murphy, I will be one of the first to buy your book.
Just let us know when it hits the market.

#8

Thanks. I picked the joke up around the stud tables in Cripple Creek,
Colorado in the early nineties.

···

--- In vpFREE@yahoogroups.com, "Terrence Murphy" <tismurph@...> wrote:

I'm stealing that , er, I mean borrowing that joke Mickey. I'll
attribute it to you.

--- In vpFREE@yahoogroups.com, "mickeycrimm" <mickeycrimm@> wrote:
> >
> Did you hear about the poker player that owned two farms? He lost
> the first farm trying to make a straight. He lost the second farm
> when he made a straight.
>

#9

Thanks Mickey for the kind words. At the moment, it's up to Huntington
Press there in Las Vegas. After them, if rejected, I'll start shopping
it around. Wish me luck.

Terrence "VP Pappy" Murphy

   "Sometimes when I play poker, I get the feeling that everyone is
against me." --VP Pappy

···

--------------------------------------------

--- In vpFREE@yahoogroups.com, "mickeycrimm" <mickeycrimm@...> wrote:

By the way, Mr. Murphy, I will be one of the first to buy your book.
Just let us know when it hits the market.

#10

Thanks Mickey for the kind words. At the moment, it's up to

Huntington

Press there in Las Vegas. After them, if rejected, I'll start

shopping

it around. Wish me luck.

Terrence "VP Pappy" Murphy

   "Sometimes when I play poker, I get the feeling that everyone is
against me." --VP Pappy

You've jogged my memory. In my travels I get to meet somw
interesting people. One of them is Claude, the night bartender at
the Golden Rose in downtown Missoula, Montana.

I was sitting at the bar one night and someone came in and handed him
$12. He reached around to the backbar and grabbed a book and handed
it to them. He then reached under the bar and grabbed another book
and sat it on the backbar. It had the same cover as the first book.

"Claude, who wrote that book?" I said.

···

--- In vpFREE@yahoogroups.com, "Terrence Murphy" <tismurph@...> wrote:

#11

Sorry, I hit the wrong key. Anyways, Claude wrote the book. He had
come to Missoula to work on his Masters in some kind of writing.
Missoula is known for it's writers community. Clause told me that the
guy who wrote the screenplay for Rounders lives in Missoula.

So I bought his book. He's a pretty good writer. But he gave me the
scoop on how he got it published. I just dug the book out and got the
publishers name. AuthorHouse (authorhouse.com).

Claude orders the book in small lots and sells it himself. He told me
it costs him about $4 a book, publishing and shipping, and he sells it
over the bar for $12. Someone can also order the book from any
bookstore using the ISBN number.

I just went to their site, filled out a field, and they are supposed to
be sending me a publishing guide. I'll see what happens.