Special Report on Inaugural Balloons
This year, you'll need to take special care using those Mylar
balloons that have become such a traditional part of all
Presidential Inaugurations. Although the no fly zone has been
extended out 23 miles, a stray balloon or two could cause major
havoc in the Washington area around the time of the President's
speech. Realizing this potential problem, the editors at Buck Fush
have developed a simple checklist that will help keep the skies
clear above the glorious celebration.
Make sure you keep a handle on all of your Mylar balloons,
especially if you are upwind of Washington, D.C. in the early
morning of the 20th.
Consider the time when you transport your balloons. For instance,
if the wind speed is 15mph and you are 30 miles upwind from
Washington, make sure you don't accidentally release any balloons 2
hours before the Ceremony. Keep in mind that winds aloft are
stronger than on the surface, so this may not be a perfect formula
for determining the worse time to lose a balloon, it may be sooner.
Whatever you do, don't lose them at 15 minute intervals, because if
all of them were lost this way, at least one would most certainly be
overhead during the Inauguration which would be a real disaster.
Don't tie long strips of aluminum foil on your balloons. This is
very dangerous, because if one of your balloons was accidentally
blown from your hands, these bits of foil would make the balloon
have a radar cross section of a 747. You wouldn't want the Air
Force to think the skies over Washington were filled with commercial
airliners, especially in the no fly zone.
Always wear gloves when handling your Mylar balloons. The sharp
edges can cause cuts on your hand if not handled properly, and
besides, who wants those smudgy fingerprints, that ruin the shiny
surface, for all to see.
Although not a safety concern, I recommend buying your balloons from
a local florist. They can give better deals than the major
department store, largely because their business overhead does not
include things like security cameras that watch your every move.
Additionally, many florists offer a cash discount, which I
personally like since it doesn't show up on my credit card at the
end of the month and confuse me.
Remember, a full balloon will pop sooner, so there will be no
problem with it drifting very far. A balloon which is not filled
all the way will expand as it rises and will float a great
distance. Be careful about this, most people think the opposite.
Hopefully, enough people in the Washington area will take this
advice and there will be no problems in the skies over the
Inauguration. After all, you wouldn't want the President's speech
drown out by the sounds of interceptor jets, would you?