Flushing It Out of Vegas - In Search of the Elusive Royal
Day Seven - Sun Nov 12th, 2006
We had been going flat out in Vegas, getting up every morning at 5:00
or even 4:30 and hitting the machines, trying to avoid changing
timezones in our minds, and enjoying the quietest part of the casino
day where we can pound out the hands uninterrupted by noise or smoke.
But by now it was taking our toll and we were getting tired. We're
talking full 17,18 hour days of the button pushing bill counting slot
card sliding menu perusing dice rolling comp whoring waitress tipping
crowd navigating close call cursing quad rejoicing casino life.
I lay thinking about sleeping in but remembered in just three days I'd
be stuck in my cubi-hell slaving away under the thumb of The Man and
why waste this opportunity?
We dressed and pounded the Bonus Poker uprights downstairs at the Four
Queens. We played about 1500 hands each in this session, but were
short on quads, bigtime. I pulled 10 10 (10 10) and (Q Q Q) Q.
I have no quads written down for Mme. Effe. Here's what I wrote down:
"breakfast.
lose. lose. lose"
It was not a good morning. Another 400 hands each and I had (7) 7 4
(7) 7 to show for it. Time to check out of the Four Queens and get
ready for our next move. We had 2,400 points at $7.50 per point so
about $18,000 coin in. Not too shabby. First stop, the slot club
booth. We could get back about $60 cashback, or take merchandise. They
had some decent stuff so we used our points on a nice golf jacket for
Mrs. F and a short sleeve denim shirt and a black polo shirt for me.
Next stop, the host booth. We arrived at the host booth to find no
host, but a sort of 'bat-phone to the hosts'. I picked up the phone
and dialed. (The sign told me to.) I had a brusque conversation with a
host and they comped our room for the two nights. I asked for our food
to be picked up as well but was flatly turned down. Fair enough. You
don't get if you don't ask. With taxes we saved $135 with one phone
call.
We went to the room to pack up our things and do an accounting. It was
bad. Really bad. Sometimes it just goes that way. We decided to end
the day then and there and forget about it. We each added $400 to our
budgets and decided it was a brand new day of gambling. We know downs
as well as ups are going to happen, and its important not to let the
downs get you down so that when your time is up and it is up to you to
start the up streak you're not too down to live up to going from down
to up.
Bye bye Four Queens, hello little suitcase wheels hitting the Fremont
St. pavement once again. It was kind of fun dragging luggage from
place to place. No one gives you a second thought.
We got our room in the north tower at the Plaza, and went up to check
it out. Again we were on a 241 coupon so we weren't expecting much.
But Mrs. Flusher inspected the bathroom and the ceiling was dripping
water into the tub. Not acceptable.
I'm learning to play these things right. I got on the phone from the
room, called the desk, and asked for the guy who had checked us in by
name (which I'd remembered because I made a point of calling him by
name. These things matter.) It's important to remain objective and
calm when raising complaints. I told him simply, without emotion, that
the room was unacceptable and we'd have to move, and could he please
arrange a transfer, because the ceiling was gushing like a Texas flood
into our bathroom and there was four feet of water in there.
Back to the desk, new room, new keys, we went up (this time to the
south tower) and it was... okay. Not great, not bad. A room like many
other rooms only more so. Servicable, and really not much better than
the garage penthouse we'd flopped in at the El Cortez.
Now it was time to see if our luck had improved. To this point Mrs.
Flushmistress had not had a single quadruple. (You might say she was
having clumping nothings.) And we'd played a *lot*. We located the JoB
in the Plaza and forthwith she was dealt 3 3 3 3 9. Luck. It exists.
I nailed (9) 9 9 (9) and K (K K) K (see, holding two, holding two... I
swear, more quads from holding two...).
We played maybe 800 hands apiece.
The plan was to have dinner using our LVA coupon at the Great Moments
room in the Vegas Club. As it was getting towards evening, we took a
break for some fun gambling at the Golden Gate. Mrs. F made a
pilgrammage to the Oracle of the White Lightning (KEEEEEEEEERACK!)
machines and got a quad for 140 quarters. It seems like the
randomization feature on White Lightning may be broken. Will we have
to move up to the EV-mysterious Treasure Chest machines???
Meanwhile, I had another successful foray onto the felt at craps
turning my $50 buy-in into $105. We gave our old BP progressive slant
top machines a run. If you ever are quitting smoking, you don't need
the patch in Vegas, just use the buttons on the machines in the Golden
Gate and you'll absorb enough nicotine for a squad of WWII commandos.
I held two Aces and HEY (As) Ac (Ah) 8 Ad for $100.
Don't you miss the coin droppers? I do, but only to the extent that
having to cash out $100 in quarters is only fun about once or twice a
trip. More than that and it would become a chore (albeit a happy one,
considering the alternative).
Who would have thought that dragging a bucket or two of coins up to
the counter would become nostalgic so quickly? Remember change carts
and the Slavic-calved women of Changegaria that used to push them?
We strolled over to the Great Moments room and asked for a table. We
were promptly informed that the coupon was no longer being accepted.
We walked out dejectedly and I had some choice words for the maitre'd
under my breath. Something along the lines of "I guess they don't want
my f#*&$g business... well f#*& ##* #($# (# #$(*@)@#$ *&#$(#@ (*#@$
#$@(*#@($ (#*$&(@#$ (#@*$&(#$&( #(@$&$#( &#@$( #$(*#@$ their shoes and
(*# $ *#(#&$(* #($*$#&(#@*#$ ($# (@#$&(#@& (# $(#@$(&#@( slavic-calved
*#&$ *#($(@##$&(#@ $&( )($#)@*$#&(# noseworthies."
Next thing I know, the m'd is tapping me on the shoulder.
I sized him up, ready to go for a slot card or other lethal weapon.
(What could I do with a slot card except point at him?) Surely he had
heard my tirade...
He explained that the Entertainment coupon was not being accepted -
did we have the LVA one?
His bartender had spied the LVA book in my back pocket and the
maitre'd came charging out after us to invite us back.
From that great moment on it was one great moment after another great
moment. Honestly, I've heard from many, many sources what a gem of a
restaurant this is, and its all true. Proper french service, lots of
dim lighting and leather, salads made at your table, the dessert
trolly, etc.
We ordered the small 8oz cut of prime rib and when it came it was
perfect - and easily twice the size. And I finished mine. Gambling
builds strong bones and teeth and you need your meatal nutrition to
build your resources up.
The best part of the meal, was after the main course. The dishes were
whisked away and the waiter appeared with a little implement I can
only describe as a hand-held tablecloth zamboni. A few quick passes
and the linen in front of me was resurfaced and free of breadcrumbs.
Never seen anything like it.
We saved $25 with the coupon but I gave most of that back in the tip.
I can't recommend the Great Moments room highly enough.
At this point I'd clawed back so that I was only down $113.
Considering, it wasn't too bad. We tried the Deuces at Paul Binions
yet again (where WERE those four ducks???). Not on our screens.
To finish out the night, and needing to stand after having consumed an
entire pound of beef meat, I grabbed a shot or two of Jack and a shot
of the dice at the 'Gate. Bought in for $50 and cashed out $154. Two
shots of happy. 16 shots of beef.
The Score
···
=========
Quads: sixty
Straight Flushes: five
Aces on BP: two
Deuces: zero
T-shirts: nine
Other shirts and jackets: three
Pounds of beef consumed in one go: one
Still Somewhat Elusive Non-clumping Royals Flush: ONE 
More to beef to come...
Royal Flusher