vpFREE2 Forums

Anti-social hobby?

#1

Do you folks tend to go on VP trips alone, or with friends/spouses? I
picked up this hobby last year when I was going to Vegas for a
convention. I dragged a couple friends with me, but they were table
game players. Late last year I dragged my wife to Reno, but she hung
out in the room and Spa, and has no interest in gambling. Well, now
I'm planning a solo trip to Reno, and my wife thinks it is sick and
depressing. She accuses me of developing an unhealthy anti-social
hobby, and tells me I will turn into Ted Kazcinsky (sp?), the
Unabomber hermit. So, have any of you been in this situation?
Advice? Is she right?

Help,
Ben

#2

Well,
I don't think you're sick and twisted :wink: Hubby and I travel to LV quite often. He comes about 6 times a year. I am out there another 6-8 times either alone or with a fellow gambler friend. I ENJOY the lone trips.......No scheds, no "what do YOU want to do's", no timetables. It is very relaxing for me. Hubby doesn't play VP nearly as much as I do, so trips with him are more vacation style with my VP jammed into the late evening hours. Solo trips allow me to keep a regular sched. I say, GO and ENJOY!!

PaulaNH

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

#3

BEN-
I did the group-thing when I first started out this hobby 3-5 yrs ago. Coordinating
more than myself became a pain. I "caught on" to VP quite a bit faster than my buds,
and practiced at home a lot more. I supplied them cheat sheets, but they still had a
tendency to interrrupt me with "Hey, what would you hold on this hand?"

Since I began to go 5-6 times per year to Nevada, and pals were on a 1-2 times per
year, I naturally began to go solo most times. It's GREAT. For all the reasons Paula
listed: you can switch machines without having to leave a crumb trail. None of this I'll
meet you somewhere at a certain time (I don't wear a watch and there aren't many
clocks in a casino). Even arranging travel logistics became a burden. As I figured out
and qualified for comps much faster than my friends, it became my "job" to try to get
them comped. Well, no more. I shut that down. I introduce them to my hosts and let
them sort it out from now on. Solo trips are my favorite.

I've just recently got back into enjoying company on trips, but it's a select few who
are totally self-sufficient - they make their own travel plans and are "trained" not to
bug me much if they happen to play a machine nearby. I let them know when and
where I'm going and the rest is up to them. Now they know the hosts and the routine
to get comps. Luckily, the new multi-denom, multi-game machines allow us to sit
nearby even with our different budgets and denom "comfort zones". I DO enjoy
sharing a look at those jackpot and mini-jackpot hands, and a group dinner is more
fun than eating solo. Twice a year with friends and 4 times a year solo is working out
just right.

SO, it's all about ME, and there's times to be sociable, but concentrating on video
poker is not one of those times in my book. I don't comprehend why yer wife would
chastise you. I thought spouses were supposed to be supportive. She sure sounds
high maintenance. We all get enough distractions in our work-a-day worlds, and
even within our own brains. A vacation of a solo trip to a casino is my way to relax
and focus. You earned your vacation and you deserve it.
The only welcome distraction in the casino is the hark of "Cocktails!"

Stick up for yourself, nobody else will!
~MARK

--- Paula H wrote:

Well,
I don't think you're sick and twisted :wink: Hubby and I travel to LV quite often. He

comes about 6 times a year. I am out there another 6-8 times either alone or with a
fellow gambler friend. I ENJOY the lone trips.......No scheds, no "what do YOU want to
do's", no timetables. It is very relaxing for me. Hubby doesn't play VP nearly as much
as I do, so trips with him are more vacation style with my VP jammed into the late
evening hours. Solo trips allow me to keep a regular sched. I say, GO and ENJOY!!

···

PaulaNH

#4

I'm planning a solo trip to Reno, and my wife thinks it is
sick and depressing.

Help,
Ben

I do a few solo trips a year to LV. In the past, my
wife never used these words but intimated it. After
my mother died having left a slew a things she wanted
to do undone, I decided life was too short. My wife
agreed. I always offer to take her, she comes
sometimes, other times not. I enjoy myself and don't
appologize. Carpe Diem (sp). To balance that,
budget reasonably and stick to your limits. Gambling
towns can be seductive.

#5

--- In vpFREE@yahoogroups.com, "lakeshorebenbev" <benfeinberg@...>
wrote:

Do you folks tend to go on VP trips alone, or with friends/spouses?

The more serious you get about trying to make money from VP, the more
it tends to be a solo activity. Imagine telling your buddies who are
typical casual casino visitors the following:

"OK, here's our schedule for today. The first 5 casinos we are going
to visit will be just to cash in a coupon. That's right - park the
car, run in, collect the cash, then run back to the car. No, I don't
have any spare coupons for you, they're only for me. You can sit in
the car if you like. Then at the 6th casino we are going to stop and
play for about 8 or 10 hours straight because they have a good multi-
point promotion going on today. I hope you boys can keep yourselves
occupied for 10 hours while I pound on one machine. Doesn't this
sound like fun?"

You won't need to worry about your buddies wanting to come on any
future casino trips with you. If you're very lucky, you will have a
spouse who shares your enthusiasm and can function as a teammate as
well as keep you company on your trips.

EE

#6

I haven't turned into Ted myself yet and ALL my trips are single. She
probably justs want the spa treatment again.

dipy911

···

--- In vpFREE@yahoogroups.com, "lakeshorebenbev" <benfeinberg@...> wrote:

She accuses me of developing an unhealthy anti-social
hobby, and tells me I will turn into Ted Kazcinsky (sp?), the
Unabomber hermit. So, have any of you been in this situation?
Advice? Is she right?

Help,
Ben

#7

--- In vpFREE@yahoogroups.com, "lakeshorebenbev" <benfeinberg@...>
wrote:

Do you folks tend to go on VP trips alone, or with friends/spouses?

I

···

picked up this hobby last year when I was going to Vegas for a
convention. I dragged a couple friends with me, but they were table
game players. Late last year I dragged my wife to Reno, but she hung
out in the room and Spa, and has no interest in gambling. Well, now
I'm planning a solo trip to Reno, and my wife thinks it is sick and
depressing. She accuses me of developing an unhealthy anti-social
hobby, and tells me I will turn into Ted Kazcinsky (sp?), the
Unabomber hermit. So, have any of you been in this situation?
Advice? Is she right?

Help,
Ben

---------------------------------------
Quick-Fix?
Hit a Royal or two.
Visit Industrial Road when in vegas.
Have pictures taken (smiling) with those sociable ladies from one of
those Gentleman's Clubs.

#8

well if you refuse to exchange a few words with the stranger sitting
next to you, then you might have a problem...other than that casinos
usually have a lot of people in them, so it is hardly anti-social...i
prefer to gamble alone because of the independence it allows me to set
my own schedule...

#9

Thanks to all of you for your thoughtful input. I had the wife read
some of your responses, and all she could say was something like "a
lot of people have too much time on their hands" or some such
comment that I took to indicate she just doesn't get why any of us
would be interested in spending our time this way, but that she is
backing down without admitting such. So you all helped me very much!!

Ben

BEN-
I did the group-thing when I first started out this hobby 3-5 yrs

ago. Coordinating

more than myself became a pain. I "caught on" to VP quite a bit

faster than my buds,

and practiced at home a lot more. I supplied them cheat sheets,

but they still had a

tendency to interrrupt me with "Hey, what would you hold on this

hand?"

Stick up for yourself, nobody else will!
~MARK

--- Paula H wrote:
>
> Well,
> I don't think you're sick and twisted :wink: Hubby and I travel

to LV quite often. He

comes about 6 times a year. I am out there another 6-8 times

either alone or with a

fellow gambler friend. I ENJOY the lone trips.......No scheds,

no "what do YOU want to

do's", no timetables. It is very relaxing for me. Hubby doesn't

play VP nearly as much

as I do, so trips with him are more vacation style with my VP

jammed into the late

evening hours. Solo trips allow me to keep a regular sched. I

say, GO and ENJOY!!

···

--- In vpFREE@yahoogroups.com, "Mark" <mark_my_words_again@...> wrote:

>
> PaulaNH

#10

Ben;
First of all, you might want to stop wearing the hooded sweatshirt and sunglasses when you're practicing at home.
But Ted K was not a VP player. He played slots. His favorites were Boom! and Big Bang Piggy Bank'n.
P.S. Take me off your Christmas Card list.
Skip
lakeshorebenbev wrote:

···

Do you folks tend to go on VP trips alone, or with friends/spouses? I picked up this hobby last year when I was going to Vegas for a convention. I dragged a couple friends with me, but they were table game players. Late last year I dragged my wife to Reno, but she hung out in the room and Spa, and has no interest in gambling. Well, now I'm planning a solo trip to Reno, and my wife thinks it is sick and depressing. She accuses me of developing an unhealthy anti-social hobby, and tells me I will turn into Ted Kazcinsky (sp?), the Unabomber hermit. So, have any of you been in this situation? Advice? Is she right?

Help,
Ben

vpFREE Links: http://members.cox.net/vpfree/Links.htm

Yahoo! Groups Links

--
Thanks!
Skip
http://www.vpinsider.com

#11

Ted--I seems your wife is not the Vegas/gambling type. . . . and
  she probably doesn't understand your interest in same. I know that
  we're lucky that both hubby and I have a deep interest in gambling/vp and Vegas in general. However, we both find that while we're in the casino we're generally playing apart from each other. Then we get together for awhile and then seperate again. I have a job that is very people intensive--so I appreciate the time to myself. My hubbys job is very stressful so his time to himself allows him to "zone out" for
  a few days and recharge those "batteries" to "take on the world" again. I bet your wife doesn't have these stresses in her life or
  if she does, she handles it in other ways and can't understand "your" way. . . ie--play vp. I don't think you have anything to be afraid of
  or much less turning into a "Unibomber"!!!! When you decide to move to a shack in the woods with no amenities or neighbors--then
  let us know and maybe we can start worrying then!

lakeshorebenbev <benfeinberg@juno.com> wrote: Do you folks tend to go on VP trips alone, or with friends/spouses? I picked up this hobby last year when I was going to Vegas . . . . She accuses me of developing an unhealthy anti-social hobby, and tells me I will turn into Ted Kazcinsky (sp?), the Unabomber hermit. So, have any of you been in this situation? Advice? Is she right? Ben

Jean H--
   
  You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
  And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go.... Dr. Suess

···

---------------------------------
Relax. Yahoo! Mail virus scanning helps detect nasty viruses!

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

#12

lakeshorebenbev wrote:

Thanks to all of you for your thoughtful input. I had the wife read
some of your responses, and all she could say was something like "a
lot of people have too much time on their hands" or some such
comment that I took to indicate she just doesn't get why any of us
would be interested in spending our time this way, but that she is
backing down without admitting such. So you all helped me very
much!!

Hey Ben,

Sounds like you aren't getting too hung up on this ... good. In your
shoes, I'd think of it akin to some husbands who love to spend the
weekend fishing while their wives "don't get it". You're have the
advantage of being able to say, "Hey, at least I don't come home with
all those smelly fish to clean ..."

Sounds like you two are cool with each other. If spending a night in
a casino is about as attractive to her as a night at the town dump,
she wouldn't be alone. You'll forgive me but, as much as I enjoy
gambling, I'm in no hurry to drag our friends down to AC to flaunt
where I'm spending time. "It's a gambling thing", you know? :wink:

But, given that she cherishes you and therefore can value the things
that you value (if, for no other reason that, because you d value
them) I'm sure you can make "real" for her what attracts you to gaming
and the pleasure found. (Hopefully, you've impressed upon her that
left on your own you're unlikely at some time in the future to take a
$50K advance against your equity line to keep the gaming boat afloat.)

Look, it's clear that your wife isn't likely to keenly desire to keep
you company on a future trip. Hopefully she'll simply get, and be
pleased that, "it" works for you.

I can tell you that 15 years ago my wife (also Bev :slight_smile: was one of the
unlikeliest women to be pounding away at a machine, much less even
step foot into a casino. But, at some point I started checking out
this "video poker thing" and she was reasonably satisfied to use the
trip to AC (from Philly) as a chance to get away from home for a night
or two and was pleased it game me a bit of a charge. Of course, if
you're not playing, AC gets pretty stale in less time than it takes an
abandoned bucket of coins to "walk".

In our case it helped that my wife has a mathematical bent and enjoys
most any game posing a mental challenge in order to be successful at
it. She was keen to get her arms around it all and when it became
apparent that we could double up on a lot of casino "extras" if she
joined in play on her own card, that lit a small fire under her.

Anyone who has met Bev will tell you that she is far from "simple
minded". Of course, I guarantee that applies to any woman on this
forum who is an intelligent player.

I ramble a bit, Ben ... my point is that, for the sake of both you and
Bev, I hope that she can come to some accomodation of your desire to
play and that (in small doses :wink: she might test the waters to see if
there might be something in this that can be a joint activity and not
just a matter of solo jaunts for you.

- Harry

#13

Thanks Harry. I actually have made further progress since my last
post. I live in Northern California, where a drive to Reno takes as
long as a drive from Philly to AC. While Bev is willing to go to
Vegas because of the attractive hotels and nice restaurants and
shows, Reno is "about as attractive to her as a night at the town
dump". But the VP is much better in Reno, and certainly much
closer. Well, my progress is I've got her to agree to join me in
the future as long as we only stay at the boutique hotel/casino I
took her to last year. It was pricey, so my goal for next week's
trip is to concentrate my play there to try for future room offers,
and kind of short play the mediocre casino that is hosting me. As
for her ever joining me in play, my wife is also math-oriented and
an Intel engineer, so I suppose it is possible, but I doubt it.

By the way, I grew up in Philly and we had a summer house in
Ventnor, NJ, the town right next to AC. I was in my early teens
when the casinos opened in AC. My friend and I went to sleazy 1 hr
photo shops in Center City until we found one where the pimply-faced
clerk agreed to make us fake IDs. So here we were, 14 years old
with IDs saying 21, and became quite adept at getting into the
casinos. For example, after choosing our entrance based on the
security guard appearance/attentiveness, we would lurk in the
shadows and wait for a large group of people to enter and slip in
the middle of their group. Once there, it was tempting to play the
machines and lay low, but we didn't because we knew if we won a
jackpot we'd never get paid, so why bother. So we took to
blackjack. I still crack up remembering how everyone at our tables
would have to wait while passing security would stop and card us
while the dealer would be stuck on one of our hands. Good times!!

Ben

--- In vpFREE@yahoogroups.com, "Harry Porter" <harry.porter@...>
wrote:

Hey Ben,

Sounds like you aren't getting too hung up on this ... good. In

your

shoes, I'd think of it akin to some husbands who love to spend the
weekend fishing while their wives "don't get it". You're have the
advantage of being able to say, "Hey, at least I don't come home

with

all those smelly fish to clean ..."

Sounds like you two are cool with each other. If spending a night

in

a casino is about as attractive to her as a night at the town dump,
she wouldn't be alone. You'll forgive me but, as much as I enjoy
gambling, I'm in no hurry to drag our friends down to AC to flaunt
where I'm spending time. "It's a gambling thing", you know? :wink:

But, given that she cherishes you and therefore can value the

things

that you value (if, for no other reason that, because you d value
them) I'm sure you can make "real" for her what attracts you to

gaming

and the pleasure found. (Hopefully, you've impressed upon her that
left on your own you're unlikely at some time in the future to

take a

$50K advance against your equity line to keep the gaming boat

afloat.)

Look, it's clear that your wife isn't likely to keenly desire to

keep

you company on a future trip. Hopefully she'll simply get, and be
pleased that, "it" works for you.

I can tell you that 15 years ago my wife (also Bev :slight_smile: was one of

the

unlikeliest women to be pounding away at a machine, much less even
step foot into a casino. But, at some point I started checking out
this "video poker thing" and she was reasonably satisfied to use

the

trip to AC (from Philly) as a chance to get away from home for a

night

or two and was pleased it game me a bit of a charge. Of course, if
you're not playing, AC gets pretty stale in less time than it

takes an

abandoned bucket of coins to "walk".

In our case it helped that my wife has a mathematical bent and

enjoys

most any game posing a mental challenge in order to be successful

at

it. She was keen to get her arms around it all and when it became
apparent that we could double up on a lot of casino "extras" if she
joined in play on her own card, that lit a small fire under her.

Anyone who has met Bev will tell you that she is far from "simple
minded". Of course, I guarantee that applies to any woman on this
forum who is an intelligent player.

I ramble a bit, Ben ... my point is that, for the sake of both you

and

Bev, I hope that she can come to some accomodation of your desire

to

play and that (in small doses :wink: she might test the waters to see

if

there might be something in this that can be a joint activity and

not

···

just a matter of solo jaunts for you.

- Harry

#14

lakeshorebenbev wrote:

Thanks Harry.

Glad the feedback was helpful. Some more ... largely prompted by "my"
Bev, with whom I shared our exchange this morning:

While Bev is willing to go to Vegas because of the attractive hotels
and nice restaurants and shows, Reno is "about as attractive to her
as a night at the town dump". But the VP is much better in Reno,
and certainly much closer.

There's definitely a certain amount of what I deem to be "vacation
play" on our menu driven out of similar motivation. Unfortunately for
us, LV has largely been off that menu these last couple of years --
the promotions are much weaker of late and airfares generally much higher.

Borgata in AC beckons as the "classy" stay. But I loathe play that's
less than fully desirable when the numbers are digested, so stays are
kept to about once every two or three months.

Well, my progress is I've got her to agree to join me in
the future as long as we only stay at the boutique hotel/casino I
took her to last year. It was pricey, so my goal for next week's
trip is to concentrate my play there to try for future room offers,
and kind of short play the mediocre casino that is hosting me. As
for her ever joining me in play, my wife is also math-oriented and
an Intel engineer, so I suppose it is possible, but I doubt it.

One thing that works in my favor with Bev is that the "frugal" concept
sits well with both of us. We both come from families with a pretty
strong anti-gambling bias and there's a good bit of that upbringing
that "stuck to the ribs". So, when we're playing under the most
favorable circumstances, the whole thing sits better with us.
Frankly, it's not so much a matter of economics as rational prudence.

It would seem that for the two of you, like many couples, if you can
make it a bit of a pampered weekend while sating your play desire, you
reach a compromise that suits all and gives you both the benefit of
each others company (frankly, my trips with Bev are light-years more
pleasant than the solo ones -- it amuses me a bit that our combined
play when she accompanies me is seldom any more than my solo trip play
... it's nice to be able to diversify my trip "play" :wink:

There's one factor that our "Bev's" likely share here -- sounds like
both spend a decent amount of time in front of computer monitors. VP
isn't exactly an enticing diversion in that respect. I suspect, were
it my gaming interest, that table play would likely suit Bev much more.

···

----------

Just one thing to add for consideration: Over time, I've made it a
point to cultivate a fair number of gaming-sourced friendships in the
casino, largely drawing upon exchanges I've had with members of this
group, Skip Hughes group, and the local AC group.

VP players tend not to be of a dullard sort and many trips now involve
a decent amount of social comraderie at the machines and the
occasional dinner with others. This is an added dimension to our
trips that has enriched our experience. Can't say whether this can be
a factor in your future play, but it's worth exploring.

- Harry