vpFREE2 Forums

[acvpp] How to Treat a VP Machine 101 ???

#1

Maybe it's the latex gloves.

Last time anyone put latex gloves on around me, it was my doctor and I knew
this wasn't gonna be a whole lot of fun. So, latex gloves = negative karma.

- Brian in MI

In a message dated 2/2/2006 7:35:21 PM Eastern Standard Time,
BANDSTAND54@AOL.COM writes:

Howdy

In an effort to reverse my "it seems like forever" loosing streak I have
adopted a new approach to my playing. First I sit down and send a positive
vibe
to my gaming partner with the bright face and solid body. I am trying to
establish a loving and personal relationship. I retrieve my latex gloves
from my
bag of tricks and put them on. This protects me and my partner from getting
too personal..nuff said

As we interact I am gentle when I get a loosing hand and do not curse the
machine or bang on it. I do not hit the keys as if I am tenderizing a
porterhouse steak. I try not to spill my cranberry juice on any part of its
surface
and thoroughly clean it up if an accident occurs.

When I get a pat hand I give the vp a loving tap and sometimes whisper
sweet
nothings to its RNG. As a result of my gentlemanly behavior I am STILL in
the throes of a ungodly downhill spiral.

Meanwhile a fellow sits down to an adjacent machine and proceeds to bang
the
machine, curse just about every hand and within fifteen minutes hits five of

a kind for a grand and is pissed that he missed the big jackpot on the
Triple
Play.

What is wrong with this picture???

Old Grumpy

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

#2

I was thinkin' if it were me tryin' to woo that cold witch, I wouldn't spend more than,
say, $100 on it, if that partner of yours wasn't "puttin' out!" Don't waste those kind
words on it 'til ya gits to knowin what "she" likes. Some of 'em likes ya to talk dirty -
that other player found one of them.

I ain't sayin' which is better - but this passion is a wild ride. Hang on, Grumpy!

Maybe the "stay at home" type is more yer style. It's a lot cheaper.

Your Mileage May Vary.
  ~MARK

···

--- In vpFREE@yahoogroups.com, Marksalot300@... wrote:

Maybe it's the latex gloves.

Last time anyone put latex gloves on around me, it was my doctor and I knew
this wasn't gonna be a whole lot of fun. So, latex gloves = negative karma.

- Brian in MI

In a message dated 2/2/2006 7:35:21 PM Eastern Standard Time,
BANDSTAND54@... writes:

> Howdy
>
> In an effort to reverse my "it seems like forever" loosing streak I have
> adopted a new approach to my playing. First I sit down and send a positive
> vibe
> to my gaming partner with the bright face and solid body. I am trying to
> establish a loving and personal relationship. I retrieve my latex gloves
> from my
> bag of tricks and put them on. This protects me and my partner from getting
> too personal..nuff said
>
> As we interact I am gentle when I get a loosing hand and do not curse the
> machine or bang on it. I do not hit the keys as if I am tenderizing a
> porterhouse steak. I try not to spill my cranberry juice on any part of its
> surface
> and thoroughly clean it up if an accident occurs.
>
> When I get a pat hand I give the vp a loving tap and sometimes whisper
> sweet
> nothings to its RNG. As a result of my gentlemanly behavior I am STILL in
> the throes of a ungodly downhill spiral.
>
> Meanwhile a fellow sits down to an adjacent machine and proceeds to bang
> the
> machine, curse just about every hand and within fifteen minutes hits five of
>
> a kind for a grand and is pissed that he missed the big jackpot on the
> Triple
> Play.
>
> What is wrong with this picture???
>
> Old Grumpy

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]